


backseat to the happiest you

by himitsutsubasa



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Everything Hurts, F/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:59:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himitsutsubasa/pseuds/himitsutsubasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wasn't that what we were doing? Seeing each other because we didn't want to see the other person with someone else?"<br/>"No."</p>
            </blockquote>





	backseat to the happiest you

**Author's Note:**

> I always gave my fics a little bit of me. Here's a lot of me. The title is by someone who offered me the world when I was too broken to accept. Phil is by the person who broke me.  
> I'm playing in [monkey_and_music_lover's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/monkey_and_music_lover) sandbox, but that should be fine.

"Wasn't that what we were doing? Seeing each other because we didn't want to see the other person with someone else?"  


"No."

<shield> 

Melinda adjusted the scarf around her neck, regretting the very moment she decided that stepping out for coffee would be a grand idea, a great break from the office grind. 

“Why are you even asking me?”

Phil handed her her cup, fetched from the counter while he left her to think about doing the impossible. “Melinda, you mean a lot to me.”

“Bullshit.”

“Is this about our relationship?” Phil groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I thought we were over that.”

“Relationship?” Melinda laughed. Hilarious. That was positively Hilarious. 

“You mean the bed of lies you fucked me on and then pulled out from under me.”

Phil winced. “I never meant…”

Melinda snorted. “Please, you only ever wanted to protect yourself. I gave you my blessing when you met someone who you cared about just as much as she cared for you. Seeing you every single day was like a stab to the chest over and over again... reminding me that I wasn’t good enough for the one person who mattered“

“Melly…”

“I could never sleep at night. Why? Why wasn’t I enough? What made me less? Was it just unlucky chemistry? Was I not soft enough? Not sweet enough? Not charming enough?” She chuckled to herself, stirring her coffee. 

The coffee, bitter and scalding, held back the tears that only he could drag out of her. “Was it because I was never what my mother wanted me, but she was exactly what my mother always told me to be and this was fate’s way of telling me mother is always right?”

Phil inhaled slowly, hand gripping the table turning white at the knuckles. “I know you’re doing this to hurt me, to make me feel guilty.”

She leaned back, draining half the cup before she spoke. “You took what little I had left. I thought I at least had your love, but I never even had that.”

“So you want petty revenge? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her fist hit the table. 

Hard enough to rattle the cups in their saucers and the tables that were welded down to the little floor that absorbed vibrations so well the rest of the shop could feel it. Hard enough to make a the barista jump. Hard enough to make her bones ache but her heart grow stronger.

Good.

“You do not get to hurt me and then tell me that you didn’t hurt me. That is not for you to decide. Do you get to decide whether or not a bullet hurts? No. You just accept that it does. This is no different.”

She drained the rest of the cup, letting the burning liquid give her the strength she never had before.

“I built so much on our relationship, but was just a manipulative way to keep me from hurting you by being with someone who loved me…” 

Melinda put her coffee down, cup empty so she would have nothing to throw at him. All the better to keep this civil. As civil as war could be.

“I’d be impressed, soothed even, if it weren’t for the fact I know you’d never actually be able to string a plan like that together.”

“Melinda…” He reached for her hand as she stood up, barely missing it, just glancing her skin.

Not that it mattered. HIs touch stopped meaning something a long time ago.

She exhaled, dropping the cash onto the table. She was glad this would be the last time she saw him. With the paperwork written up, Fury’s blessing, and a nice little place out in Honolulu, she was going to be just fine without him.

She smiled.

“You’re a selfish bastard, Phil Coulson.”


End file.
